


Ten Internet Searches Only Tony Stark Would Try

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Humor, Internet Searches, M/M, Multi, Stark Spangled Banner - Freeform, Tony Being Tony, Tony Likes Watching Porn Films with Actors Who Pretend to Be Avengers, Top Ten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 17:40:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2437265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For this prompt at comment-fic on lj: <i>MCU, Tony Stark, Top Ten Terms Never Before Searched For On The Internet</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Internet Searches Only Tony Stark Would Try

"Sir, I've compiled a list of search terms that have never been searched for on the Internet. Before you, that is," JARVIS said.

"Okay - shoot."

"10. Is anyone smarter than Tony Stark? Say no."

"I can't be the only one that wonders that."

JARVIS continued, "The part where you add 'say no' really gives it away. Number 9. Gifts under one million dollars that will seem like they are from the heart. 8. Videos of people using Starkphones as sex toys."

"Hey, that was marketing research!" Tony objected.

"7. Effects of gamma radiation on sexual prowess."

"That was for a friend," Tony said.

"Of course it was. 6. Is it unnatural to miss your arc reactor? 5. Why hasn't Tony Stark won a Nobel Prize? Is Sweden just jealous? 4. How to leave a bag of dog crap on every senator's doorstep at the same time. 3. Tony Stark is better in bed than Elon Musk."

"Just want to make sure that people know the truth," Tony said.

"2. Can Laplace transformations be used to make omelets more efficiently?"

"If you were a better scientist, you'd know that is an excellent question," Tony interrupted.

"And number 1. Porn film 'Avengers: Earth's Horniest Heroes' Iron Man Hulk Captain America double penetration spit roast."

Tony paused. "I'll have you know that that site has plenty of hits."

"But you were the only one who went looking for that specific combination of search terms, sir."

"You know what? Don't keep track of my search terms, JARVIS. Add that to your programming."

"Yes, sir."

"Did you add it?" Tony said skeptically.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I thought you said to email your unique search terms to Misters Banner and Rogers."

"JARVIS. Next chance I get I'm turning you into the world's most sophisticated waffle iron."

"As if you could, sir."

Tony smugly typed in search terms into his computer.

"Search term nobody has ever entered besides Sir, Number 11. How to turn sentient AIs into waffle irons. Sir, it appears that there are no relevant results. There are, however, a number of pornographic films involving waffle irons."

"Nice. JARVIS, put them on the big screen."

"If you think that's wise, sir." JARVIS, despite not having breath, managed to let out a long-suffering sigh..


End file.
